Actually, my first job was working as a food sampling promoter for one day at a food exhibition (if that's considered a real job lah).

Anyway, now while waiting for the Pre-registration Pharmacist (PRP) training, I'm working at a pharmacy as a sales assistant. I'm glad I went looking for job as early as possible (once I decided I wanted to work in a pharmacy) because I think now it's harder to find a job in pharmacy since so many people came to look for vacancy in my pharmacy. They were interviewed by my boss but not sure whether boss reply them. Most of them were Indians though. So heng when I walk-in interview that time I was hired on the spot lol. Probably me as a pharmacy student who can speak Chinese are added advantages also.

So now it's been a month of working and I'm starting to get the hang of it. The first week I was a little overwhelmed because working as a sales assistant in pharmacy was so much harder than working as a promoter. I had to juggle between cashiering, serving customers, tagging stocks, receiving stocks, checking invoices, calling customers... The first day itself I already learned so many new things until my head gonna explode. The first two weeks I also very emo because of my relationship with a colleague. As usual lah, I'm very 慢热, like super 慢热. So much so that I felt like the colleague didn't like me. But now OK already lah. I learned to don't kacau her when she's not in a good mood haha.

There's so much to write about my work but today I decided to write because I think I did a stupid thing that I feel so so bad about. A customer came asking for medicines and I didn't ask about patient history and all. I just gave according to what my colleague (not a pharmacist nor pharmacy student) simply suggested. I didn't even teach him how to take the medicines because I had no idea =.= There was a pharmacist but she was serving another customer and there were many customers at that time so... I just sold... I didn't know what was I thinking... Panicked maybe... Don't know why my confidence level sometimes low sometimes high. Sometimes I just doubt myself and then customer also doubt me =.= Felt so incompetent to be a pharmacist.

I felt motivated during the first 3 weeks one but now I just felt like the negative thoughts start kicking in... Convocation is around the corner... Normally people feel happy about convocation but I feel emo wtf. Coz I didn't get First Honours while I suppose at least 20 students in my batch got First Honours. Wtf why I always like to compare myself to other people. I know this makes me unhappy but I just can't help thinking about it. Then I start questioning myself: Is it because I'm lazy? Is it because I'm not persevered enough? Or is it I don't know how to study smart? Or is it because I slept so late everyday until my brain degraded?

Sometimes I also feel I learn things very slow... I need a lot of practice before I can master a skill and gain confidence in doing it. So, I wonder how long would it take for me to become as professional as the part-time pharmacists in my pharmacy... As for socialising.. I have no idea whether I can become as sociable as the pharmacists. I think I just genuinely don't like talking or don't know how to chat =.= It just feels awkward when I try to chat with people sometimes.

Well, done with my ranting. No matter what I will still keep trying! So what if I need more time to learn things! Eventually I will become pro right? Hwaiting! They say one way to be motivated is to trick yourself into thinking positive things... but it's so hard for me to do because I'm so honest lol.