Just came back from a 5-Day induction course called Program Transformasi Minda (PTM) organised by the government. Exhausted coz everyday had to attend talks from 8AM to10/11PM, mind you. Nevertheless, it's still an enjoyable experience, minus the group games and long hours of talks.

I think the term "government servant" precisely describe the role of government employees (we called it penjawat awam in Malay, after this I would be using many more Malay words at my workplace I'm sure) cause the message that I got from the PTM was "Do not disobey any order from the government". I cannot talk bad things about the government, and cannot share anything that is against the goverment on FB (cannot even 'LIKE'!). So, that's why those who went to PTM before told me that PTM is a brainwashing tool. From now on, I have to be careful in what I said or do in FB...

Actually, I'm really really grateful that government gave us this job. I really am. But that doesn't mean that I have to vote for the party that has dominated our politics for years. IMHO, I can be patriotic by doing my job and serving the public well.

Some of the talks in PTM were really annoying. They didn't fail to bring up the racial issues every single time. They talk as though we are the one who's trying to destroy the harmony among different races and ruin our country by attending rallies but the way I'm seeing it, they are the reason why this issue exists. If they don't bring up this issue we wouldn't even think it's a problem because it's NOT in reality! So can you stop talking about racial issues?! Other things that they said in the talk including "Don't attend rally" and "Don't like/share the FB posts that are against the government" I actually didn't feel offended at all but when they started to mention about racial issues and why Chinese and Indians should be grateful to be accepted in OUR country, OUR tanah air, then I really feel 火滚 already. At that moment, I felt an intense emotion inside me that's going to burst. I guess that emotion was anger? Honestly, I think they're bad at their job in persuading the people and winning the rakyat's heart coz what they're doing is just further annoying the people only =_=

Anyway, I think I'm lucky enough to be able to get hospital posting at a government hospital despite the short of budget. AND due to the large amount of participants in this year's PTM, it had to be held in hotels instead of the usual medical colleges, which is good because we could eat buffet everyday and stay at hotel for FREE! AND after PTM I still have 4 days to rest before I really go to work, thanks to the public holidays on Monday and Tuesday! :D

Last two weeks I had been really hectic and stressful because I had to prepare the documents, get signatures and do a lot of shopping, all while still working at the pharmacy! Speaking of the pharmacy that I used to work at, I'm quite touched and grateful that I met a nice boss and nice colleagues. I didn't expect my boss will treat us pizza for my farewell. And my colleagues said they will miss me awwww.. I really didn't expect that because honestly I don't think I'm a good friend or colleague. I have quite a bad temper when I'm in bad mood. I don't know how to care for people (I also don't know why I chose to become a pharmacist). When I was working I even thought that nobody would miss me when I leave and I will be easily replaced. So yeah... quite touched... My boss even contacted a few friends to help me to find the nearest Commissioner of Oaths for my documents and also helped me to ask where to buy baju kurung batik lol.

Oh and... people always ask why I chose Hospital Kuala Kubu Baru... I started to feel regret actually lol. Everyone chose busy hospitals while I chose a small hospital. But I'm not afraid to admit that I value work-life balance more than learning a wider range of stuff. I know HKKB doesn't have CDR and TPN, I know HKKB doesn't have as much patients as in HTAR. But I also think that without having to stress myself out over work, I can learn more detailed about the pharmaceutical management. Yea... although HKKB doesn't have single good-looking doctors/pharmacists but whatever! And I think that one of the reasons I chose HKKB is because I want to stay in a new environment, although it means that I have to leave my two parents at home (for that I feel a bit guilty), but I really want to stay alone. I think I like the freedom to do anything at anytime I want when I'm not staying with my parents, like showering late at night... haha. BTW I'm going to stay with a friend who's been doing PRP at HKKB for 6 months already (she's same batch as me in IMU but she's the second batch who got recruited as PRP), and two other pharmacists (one of them is my IMU batch mate also).

Oh... one more thing... We're the first batch of pharmacists who will be Provisionally-registered pharmacists (PRP) on a contract basis... basically means that government can dismiss our service whenever they want. It's different from the previous batches of "Pegawai Farmasi U41 Tetap" where they will be continuing their service in government forever and ever until they retire or unless they want to quit or they do something really bad that can result in dismissal. Our post is "Pegawai Farmasi UF41 Kontrak". Same as the previous batch, we have to undergo PRP training for one year, but after the PRP year we have an evaluation which will decide whether we can be "Pegawai Tetap" or still "Pegawai Kontrak" for the second year. For those who succeed in getting the "Pegawai Tetap" post, they will be Fully-registered Pharmacists (FRP) and can serve in the government sector forever and ever like the previous batch.. For those who didn't get the "Pegawai Tetap" post, they will still be contract FRP. However, they still have chance to get a permanent post cause there will be another evaluation after they finish their second year. If they succeed in the second evaluation, they can become TETAP but they need to work 2 years more (takes a total of 4 years including PRP) to increase their rank to "Pegawai Farmasi UF44". For those who succeeded in the first evaluation though, they just have to work total 3 years including PRP to get to UF44, which is same with the previous batches. Here's the catch... there are only 400++ TETAP posts left for grab... And there are maybe 500-800 of us competing for the posts.. So I must work hard and finish my logbook faster lah before all the posts kena grabbed! This means that this coming year I cannot take long leave for vacation because it will delay my evaluation :(

I'm quite nervous!! But I'm also quite confident I can adapt to the new environment! Now... lemme binge watch dramas before I start my life as a PRP (no life).