What is the first thing you guys think of when you wake up in the morning?
How do you feel at that moment?

I can tell you that my feeling sucks.
The first thing that came into my mind this morning was..."arghhh my head hurts"...
But other days, I just think of what a miserable life I have.

I'm so envious of those people who have their dreams...
I want to be able to start my day with an amazing feeling like those people! You know... have a life goal and know how you gonna spend every second today to achieve your goal!

Yeah, I know what I have today is the consequence of my own negative thoughts. Everyone knows that, but it's easier said than done. I don't even know when I'm gonna realise my true interest and passion.

I think my passion might be for dogs / animals but I can't guarantee that I won't get sick of it if I get too much of it. It happens almost every time; I lose interest in something I like quite fast. Sometimes I wonder: would that happen to my love life also? lol. I don't have a real relationship before but I can sort of relate that to my past ambiguous relationship. Heheh.

Without passion, without dream, life is just boring. At least when I was small I was very passionate in playing games. Now I'm just a boring person with a boring life.

In that case, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!!! Pfft. Easier said than done, again.
Having a bad headacheeeeeeeeeeee due to lack of sleep making me want to die!



PS: Sorry for such negative thoughts. :/

Ahh...finally it's weekend!

This week had been a hectic one. Almost everyday we'd got at least four lectures to attend. Not to mention so many assignments popping out of nowhere LOL - pharmaceutics presentation, Infertility portfolio, leaflet project, business project and a debate! Although the presentation and the debate don't contribute any marks, they still have to be done. I think Sem 5 is more hectic than Sem 3 and Sem 4 OKAY! Who said Sem 5 very free one? Who?! I remember in my previous blog post I said I liked this semester during the first week. Now, I've changed my mind. There are more projects this sem and project means group work! I hate to work in a group!

I also hate that my mood is easily worsened by a teeny weeny thing. It's like I was in a cheery mood and then someone did something and I became upset. Sometimes the bad mood can stay for the whole day. Thankfully today I managed to control my mood by forgetting about that incident~ lol. Am I too sensitive or what?

Actually I have nothing much to blog about. I just feel like blogging probably because I can't go home for 3 weeks in a row and I'm feeling a lil emo. I'm enjoying my own sweet time alone in my room though (contradicting myself), without the noise I always experience at home.

为你弹着萧邦的夜曲...纪念我逝去的爱情...

Hohoho you're right...if you're thinking about Jay Chou. Listening to Jay Chou's "oldies" (OMG we are so old already) and suddenly feel like blogging :)

Actually I have quite some things to blog but wanted to wait until I'm free. Well, feelings come and you can't stop it~ lol

Recently I just came to know that someone from our course failed the last semester! I assumed he also failed the resit coz he isn't joining us in this new sem. Well, usually I couldn't care less about who's failed lah but this guy...he's a JPA scholar! Hmm...was a JPA scholar. Yeah I think he's gonna have to pay back all the fees to JPA :/

I don't know him personally though. Coz my friends were talking about it during lunch and they said they're so grateful that, although they're not as brilliant/ genius as those JPA scholars but at least they never fail. This got me thinking: should I be grateful?

I've always wanted to be like them. You know...they seem to excel in studies effortlessly (I think not all of them). They are so hardworking and persevered - two qualities that I'm very eager to have LOL.) Also with their high cGPA and the title of "JPA scholar", they sound so cool lah and people will always respect/ be nice to them. Anyway, I guess I came into the conclusion that I wouldn't be grateful that I just managed to pass and not excel. I think I hate being mediocre. Just like in primary/secondary school, teachers will always remember the smartest/talented students and the naughtiest student while the mediocre students get forgotten.

But what to do, I think I'm stuck in being mediocre. Anyway, we must have positive thinking, right? Nobody knows what's gonna happen in the future so I will not lose the tiniest hope that I still hold on to. lol

Apart from that, acting smart is not always the 'smart' thing to do. I heard that seniors hate those smart juniors and they like to help those stupid juniors lol. This scenario can be happening in the workplace also. So the advice given by my friends to me is: act like you don't know anything when you enter the workforce. =.=

You know the ironic thing is, I wanted to be one of those smart people because I thought people like to approach them... I believe it is true what... For example in uni, people always like smart students to be in their groups, and thus they try to know as many smart friends as they can. And me...I keep being ignored lah.

I don't know lah... This world is so complicated...I don't want to be an adult T.T  lol. I think the answer to my blog title would be: Be a smart person but act like you're not one! ;)

I'm really pissed off right now.

I can't understand why some people always borrow stuff from people instead of just buy one for themselves! I don't mind to borrow u once in a while (like once per month? lol) but comon'... thrice in a week?

It's not that troublesome for me, really. It's just that I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to ask for help from others if I can do it myself. So, I can't  tolerate people being 'buay pai seh'.

There were some other people who borrowed from me, too. But they didn't borrow it as frequently as u. SERIOUSLY I want to say: 'Since you need it SO MUCH, why don't go buy one urself?!' It's not that expensive what, considering you're in the same university as me which charges us so high for tuition fee.

Don't get me wrong. I'm more than happy to borrow it to my close friends EVERYDAY. But you, you are just an acquaintance. I don't even know your age wth.

Actually, I don't mind that u ask for the whole thing before finals because that's considered as you just ask from me once. But no, u have to ask every time after a lecture, don't you?

I also don't understand why I'm so pissed off. Maybe I'm just plain selfish.

And the worst thing is, I can't say no. I can't ignore u either zzz because I'm seeing u everyday!