Pissed? Sad? Disappointed? I don't know what I feel now. I've been feeling pissed for a whole week. Trip is cancelled. I even feel foolish saying this for the umpteenth time in this blog.

Why give people hope/promise when u cannot keep it? At first, everyone confirmed can go, then one by one started to bail on me. One said lost her phone, one said suddenly got family outing, one cannot be reached, one after seeing others bail she also wants go back hometown. SERIOUSLY?! I find it hard not to be angry.

I'm the only who is gan jeong for this trip (probably coz I'm the one booking and paying for the hotel). I don't understand why can't they bother to check their FB inbox everyday. Probably coz they don't see this as an important matter. Busy? I'm busy too. I'm already very stressed over my research proposal presentation and yet I still have to organise this whole trip but in the end have to be cancelled.

Since last week I asked them whether want to buy bus tickets or not coz very hard to get during Hari Raya. They couldn't give me an answer until now when I voiced my urgency because Agoda will charge my credit card the full amount on this Monday. To be fair, there's 2 person: Shar and LY have been cooperative (if you see this, I really thank you both for being supportive). Others I have to sms/call them one by one and the answers I got were "NO".

I felt stupid organising this trip, especially after my parents told me that it's hard to organise a trip with a big group. I should've known this. Really stupid. If I didn't remember wrongly, this trip wasn't my idea at all in the beginning.

I thought of bearing the cost of cancellation fee which is just RM40++ myself but after what I've gone through today with my research group mates, I learned that I must treat myself fairly.

(The incident was a long story: Supervisor chicken pox. Have to rehearse our presentations using telecommunication. One group on Monday, another group on Tuesday, presentation on Thursday. A girl from Group 1 said she needs more time to edit her presentation slides so she prefers Tuesday. Another girl from Group 2 who is in the same clique with her prefers Tuesday too because she wants to go back hometown. Group 2 girl feels its unfair to "zhao" Group 1 girl, but she paiseh to say because they're close friends. So she asked me to start a voting on FB. Actually everyone else doesn't matter which day, only they 2 mind :/ If me I probably will "zhao" Group 1 girl but I think Group 2 girl just wants to be fair. And I helped her because I think fairness is one of my values too.)



So I don't care anymore.

Actually, I already felt like not going since the day one of them bail. And I already had feeling that this trip will be called off again eventually. I felt like just straight away cancel larh why so susah? But I didn't want be the one who causes this trip to be cancelled. I didn't want to break my promise. So, actually I'm quite relieved that we cancelled this trip because I was afraid that I might not be enjoying the trip.

I swear I won't organise any trip again. Don't want to do this stupid thing again. Even made me missed so much of my favourite show "Dad where are you going" because was contacting people here and there when the show was showing on TV. And no mood to watch it afterwards. Sien I might have to rewatch.

Hmm, I guess I have to be angry more often because that's how I get the courage to stand up for myself o.O

Hoo... After typing all out I feel less angrier but when I think of it again I feel angry again :/ And wow, I didn't eat a proper dinner today but I don't feel hungry because 我被气饱了！



OK. Talk about happy things now.

It's my first-time experience having meeting through webcam with a lecturer today lol. Can see her face full with chicken pox lol. But she's so good la.... I think so far I've not heard of any lecturer who is more helpful than our supervisor. She read through each of our proposal and presentation slides (there are 8 of us, mind you) and taught us from writing skills, presentation design to referencing! Walao I didn't expect so much from our supervisor lo. Some of them made a lot of mistakes in doing their proposal but she patiently corrected and explained every mistake to them! I know these are actually supervisor's tasks la (according to our handbook), but I don't see other supervisors do that. Some very cincai and just say OK to anything!

I'm quite touched. She's got chicken pox and also has to take care of her baby but still willing to help us. Some more when the Internet lagged she even called us and spoke with us through phone for like, 1-2 hours? Haih, I must put more effort into doing my literature review since my supervisor so good if not I will feel sorry lol.


PS: Our supervisor speaks Chinese to us which is quite funny coz normally lecturers speak English to students lol.