It's the 5th day of my holidays, and I already feel bored. I have a lot of things in my mind though, just don't have mood to do. What is wrong with me?!

I've watched a number of movies, as planned. The movies were great. But I'd love to read novels instead of watching movies all day. Sadly, whenever I start reading I'll feel sleepy I don't know why?! I think I've had enough sleep so definitely not tired. Must be the post-exam sleep disorder. It means I'll fall asleep when I read any book. It sounds like it doesn't make sense but let me explain. I dozed off a few times when I was doing revision because it was too boring. So I think that my brain got used to the behavioral pattern that when I read a book I sleep. Still doesn't make sense to u? Then forget it.

While I was in my exam week, few friends tried to date me. But what happened after my holiday starts?  Nobody dates me :'( OK maybe coz I didn't really ask them or what, coz they seem quite busy. Except for my cousin, who doesn't have a car and not to mention ME, the lousy driver who can't pick her up. Haiz...and what happened to the Sunway Lagoon trip planned before exams with my course mates?  Hmm I think it's still on...or not? Well, actually we've planned it to be on the first Monday after our exams. Then, one of us can't make it that day so she proposed to go on one day before our exam result is out. But now she told us to count her out because she have to take care of her sick grandma. Well, frankly to say, I'm a bit angry because, it's not the first time she bail on us. But how could I be angry with her if she wants to carry out her responsibility as a good granddaughter? But anyway, it's kinda serious to use the term "bail on" coz technically she didn't bail on us because it is still quite a long time until the day we are supposed to go Sunway Lagoon. Haizz the fact is, I'm not so sure about this trip...I'm not sure whether we will really have this trip because in the past, I've had so many trips planned but cancelled in the end. Like the graduation trip to Genting Highlands during secondary school. Arghh is it me? Is my presence in the group that always makes a trip cancelled? lol now I'm being ridiculous. I really really want to go Sunway Lagoon with friends!

Other than movies, books and trips, I'm also working on how to make myself pretty. Previously, natural beauty is my goal. But now I think it's kinda impossible for me. It's impossible for someone who isn't naturally pretty to be a natural beauty. Don't talk about inner beauty to me. People only want to know you if you look good. If you look ugly, nobody wants to know you and nobody will to know your inner beauty. And after reading Xiaxue's blog, I think it's ok to make up, style your hair, do plastic surgery...etc. Oh but I don't think I will do plastic surgery though lol. I want to draw eyebrows, eye liner, put on eye lashes, dye or curl my hair...but all these need money =.= I don't feel like using my parent's money for all these because I will feel guilty. So...I really don't know when I will really go and dye / curl my hair lol. Arghh there are so many restraints in my life! All the restraints I give myself one! I am stingy, I am so worried of what others think of me, I am a perfectionist (sort of), I think too much but never take action, I am pathetic, I am so not cool! Sien...

BTW, I've been told that I complain a lot recently coz I posted my complaints on facebook about the weather, government, etc. I'm starting to think that maybe I really am someone who likes to complain and annoys everyone around her lol.

OK now I want to watch a movie again. Keep watching love movie coz I'm lack of love lol. Good luck with my Sunway Lagoon trip!