This will be a totally EMO post... Haiz I tried to be positive but...easier said than done. Anyways, I gotta write these all out becoz I'm afraid I will gone mad if I don't. I've already have OCD for god's sake (Well, I think so). I can't post this on FB so I only can post it here because only a few people know the existence of this blog. If anyone's reading this and feels like it bothers u then, please feel free to ignore.

This is a good month. No, really. There's been many 'first-time's for me in this month and they more or less spiced up my otherwise boring life.

Ughh but this week is a depressing one. Firstly, my Genting trip might be cancelled again~ Well, thanks to the bus crash. Actually, I start to feel unsafe for this trip even if eventually we continue with our plan. Friends and family advised me not to go...hmm...I think it's up to my friend's parents. If they don't let my friend go then okay we shall cancel it~ :((( It's like my awful fate.

I finally got to know the feeling of having group members who don't give a shit on our assignments! Whenever my friends complained to me about their group members, I have always told my friends: "I'm grateful that I haven't met any group member who's not willing to contribute." WTF now I get it! It's a presentation that contributes 10% to our module leh! And some of them NEVER EVER attend any of our meetings (so far we had 2 only, the supposedly third meeting was cancelled last minute because.. guess what? They don't want to attend) with the fellow members from Nutrition & Dietetics course. The N&D students purposely skipped their class to attend this cancelled meeting and our fellow BPharm friends didn't bother to attend!

I don't understand, really. And I don't want to jump to conclusions because I don't know them that well. I never thought they would think that these meetings are not important. Well, I guess we can't really blame them because we only have few classes this week and they kinda treat it as holidays. Even the N&D complained to our lecturer about the attitudes of us BPHARM students o.O

Then, of course, I have to do the work. I'm not sure whether I should ask them to do or not. As I don't wanna be judged as someone who snatch all the tasks to do, neither do I wanna be someone who boss around asking people to do stuff although I'm not the leader. Dilemma. But it's quite an easy thing to solve. I'll just do the work no matter what because after all, the marks are important for me. I'm trying to boost my cGPA this sem!! And I'm trying to give a good impression to the N&D students here =.= We also feel paiseh for those who didn't attend the meetings.

And I guess people who had same experience as me would understand this: your group members never give any opinions and after you've done all the work, then only they point out their disagreements. Well, this haven't happen yet lah. This is what I fear, cause it would mean that I wasted time on the work.

So to ease my stress, I bought Mocha Mint ice-blended pearl drink when I went out to buy dinner just now. Arghh nowadays I have to think twice when I wanna eat/drink unhealthy stuff because I've just learnt that diabetes mellitus type 2 is highly hereditary!!!! (My dad is taking anti-diabetic drugs) FML. If I don't start to control my lifestyle now, I'd probably get diabetes, hypertension, heart disease...u name it. =.= Oh ya! Don't forget my grandparents (one from paternal side and one from maternal side) also died of leukemia! Wow, I have a wonderful family history.

And as if these stuffs are not depressing enough, why on earth did I click into the blogs of my old classmates at this fucking time? Reading those blogs about the pressies they received for their 21st birthdays, just made me more depressed. Hmm, not that I want people to give me gifts or anything. I don't want people to give me gifts because I don't want to feel that I owe them. I'm totally fine with it until I read their blogs. I don't blame them though, they have every right to blog. My point is the research about Facebook makes people EMO is true. Although this is not Facebook, but it is equally true. No matter how rational I am, I'm still a normal person with a depressive mentality (Am I??). Then I had to tell myself: "It's okay, you can work hard to be a successful and FILTHY RICH woman and until then you can buy ANYTHING you want! You will spend money like water and don't even need to think before you buy anything!" Is this self-cheating?

Fucking life. I don't have appetite for dinner now. I just wanna drink my sweet drink till my stomach explodes! I know it'll all work itself out in the end but I'm going through the tough time now zzz. I need more energy to overcome these! BUT WHY DO I FEEL TIRED ALL THE TIME?! My circadian cycle is screwed up.

Haha...nevertheless, we still have plenty of happy moments in our lives. So, I'll just have to endure and go back to work now!


Finally, to make this post not as gloomy as it sounds, I added a picture!

Background pic from Liz Lisa. Pastel flowers ^^